01 November 2023 

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TALK ABOUT IN SESSIONS

Embarking on a counselling journey can be a fluctuating experience. Sometimes, you might feel like the sessions are too short to express everything you wish to share, and other times, you may find yourself struggling to find the right words or topics to discuss during your sessions. It's perfectly normal to have moments when you don't know what to talk about in therapy. 

In this article, I offer some tips to navigate those moments when you're lost for words or simply find it challenging to come up with things to say during your therapy sessions. These moments can be invaluable and may turn out to be opportunities for self-discovery.

It's important to emphasise that there's nothing wrong with moments of silence. These tips are not meant to fill in the gaps during these silences but rather to help you explore your thoughts and feelings when you encounter them.

Start with your emotions

When you don't know what to talk about, share it with your therapist. One of the most effective ways to do this is to begin with expressing your feelings. Whether you're feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or simply unsure about what's bothering you, acknowledging your emotions is a good starting point. Your therapist can then help you unpack and understand these feelings, which can lead to productive discussions. 

Sometimes, it can be challenging to access or identify our emotions. If this is the case for you, consider focusing on your body and being curious about the sensations you experience in a given moment, such as tightness in your shoulders.

Reflect on your week

If focusing on the present moment is causing anxiety, take a moment to reflect on your experiences and thoughts from the past week. 

Did anything noteworthy stand out? Were there specific events or interactions that left an impact on you? Reflecting on your recent experiences can help you connect with what matters to you and identify concerns to take to your therapy session. 

Even seemingly minor incidents can reveal important insights about your thoughts and feelings. Keeping a therapy journal can be a valuable tool to aid you during moments of uncertainty, allowing you to identify patterns and concerns you may wish to discuss in therapy.

It's important to note that you don't need to go into therapy with a predefined plan for every session. In fact, being open to what each session brings can often be more productive.

Talk about the therapy process

When you're unsure about what to discuss, consider sharing your therapy goals and reflecting on the progress you have made. 

It is also entirely acceptable to discuss your therapy experience itself. Feel free to talk about your comfort level with your therapist, express any concerns, and ask questions about the therapeutic process. Open and honest communication about your therapy experience can be invaluable and foster a positive therapeutic relationship.

Therapy is a collaborative process, and your therapist is there to support and guide you through these moments of uncertainty or when you're unsure about what to bring.

If you would like to learn more about the therapy process or how I can help you, please do not hesitate to get in touch.